Activity: Checking-In
Remember Ali and Sarah? Help Sarah use Golden Rule #1 Say What You See to check in with Ali.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. So much homework 😫
What’s with you lately? Are you avoiding me?
This might make Ali defensive.
You stuck to the facts and opened up the conversation.
What’s Your Role?
There’s no formula to make everything better. But that’s not your job. You don’t have to script the perfect peptalk or craft the perfect text. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we overstep our supportive role and offer advice that causes more harm than good. We’re not here to judge, preach or fix anyone. Your role is to be there for them, period.
Remember, it’s not about you. This isn’t the time to talk about struggles you’ve had or how you overcame them. It’s time to listen.
- Don’t judge. Their feelings and experiences are valid whether or not you understand them. Your role is to make them feel heard and supported.
- Don’t preach. Giving advice can come off as dismissive of their problems. Unless they directly ask for your opinion, resist the urge to give advice or try to fix things.
- Don’t downplay the situation or be the eternal optimist. Sometimes trying to make them feel better can imply that they are overreacting.
Setting boundaries is important to maintaining healthy relationships especially when you’re supporting someone struggling with their mental health.
We all need friends we can talk to (and have fun with!), but being there for someone does not mean you become their therapist, personal assistant, or primary caregiver. There are a few different types of boundaries you can set, and a bunch of different ways to set them. Setting clear boundaries will help you maintain a healthy relationship while still being supportive.
Types of boundaries:
- Your role. You’re not their therapist, caregiver or personal assistant. You’re their friend, being there for them doesn’t change that.
- Your capacity. You only have so much time, energy and emotional bandwidth. You can’t be their only support. To avoid burning out, help them connect with friends, family and community resources.
- Your safety. You can set boundaries around anything you feel threatens your physical safety or mental health. (e.g. topics you don’t want to talk about, places you don’t want to go, things you don’t want to do, or even shows you don’t want to watch.)
According to Be There, how should you create a safe environment for someone struggling with their mental health?
A classmate is feeling so anxious about an upcoming exam that they’re nauseous and have barely eaten all week. This change is…
Ali joined the science club
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