Activity: Checking-In
Remember Ali and Sarah? Help Sarah use Golden Rule #1 Say What You See to check in with Ali.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. So much homework 😫
What’s with you lately? Are you avoiding me?
This might make Ali defensive.
You stuck to the facts and opened up the conversation.
Being in the Right Frame of Mind
Sleep deprived? Hangry? In the middle of super stressful midterms? Sometimes we are just not in the best mood or right mindset to have big conversations. If you don’t think you’re in the right headspace to have a helpful conversation, that’s ok; it might be best to come back to it at a better time.
But what if you’re already in it?
If you’re feeling frustrated, impatient, annoyed or just not in the right frame of mind to support someone at the moment:
- Pause. Take a breath. Step back and think before you speak.
- Check in with yourself. What are these feelings really about? Are you frustrated with the person, yourself, circumstances? Is this something in your control or beyond what you can influence?
- Set a boundary. Be honest, if you don’t feel like you have the capacity to Be There in a positive way in that moment, connect that individual to another friend or resource for now.
- Talk things through. Journal, talk with a trusted friend or therapist, or if it will be productive and not hurtful, speak to the people involved.
Setting boundaries can help keep everyone in the right frame of mind, but sometimes things are out of your control and you just have to step back from the conversation. If it isn’t a crisis situation, explain what’s in the way of having a good conversation, remind them that you really do care and plan a time to pick up the conversation when everyone’s up for it. There’s no shame in looking after yourself.
According to Be There, how should you create a safe environment for someone struggling with their mental health?
A classmate is feeling so anxious about an upcoming exam that they’re nauseous and have barely eaten all week. This change is…
Ali joined the science club
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