Activity: Checking-In
Remember Ali and Sarah? Help Sarah use Golden Rule #1 Say What You See to check in with Ali.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. So much homework 😫
What’s with you lately? Are you avoiding me?
This might make Ali defensive.
You stuck to the facts and opened up the conversation.
Story: Abrar and Mohammed
Check out this video from friends Abrar and Mohammed to learn Show You Care in action.
Welcome to the Be There Certificate!
Congrats on taking the first step towards learning to better support your peers and loved ones.
Throughout the course, you’ll learn:
- Warning signs that someone might be struggling with their mental health
- Be There’s 5 Golden Rules – a practical framework to support someone who’s struggling.
- Self-care tips, because your mental health is just as important as anyone else’s!
You'll get to:
- Learn from quick tutorials explaining each Golden Rule
- Take in stories from folks who have been there for their loved ones
- Test your knowledge with interactive quizzes
- Practice applying the Golden Rules to real life scenarios
What to expect:
Once you complete all 6 Lessons, you’ll receive the coveted Be There Certificate! Along the way, you’ll also receive badges and encouragement from fellow learners. It takes about two hours to complete but, don’t worry, if you need a break we’ll automatically save your progress up to the last page you finished.
You’ll get started in just a minute. First, a few quick questions.
“It’s too expensive. I can’t afford it.”
- Research what is covered by their school or employer insurance policies.
- Make a monthly budget with them or share a template they can fill in themselves.
- Research community programs or other free options.
“It’s too far away. There isn’t anything near me.”
- Research options for online therapy or helplines.
- For highschoolers: Ask your guidance counselor what support is available locally.
- For university or college students: Visit the campus wellness center to see what services are available.
“I’m too busy. I don’t have time.”
- Suggest they list out everything they have to do, then help them prioritize what needs to get done and what can wait.
- Help them write out a schedule for the week with time set aside for major commitments and top priorities.
- Ask how you can help get things done
- Encourage them to find a therapist who can be flexible on what time they meet.
“I don’t have a car. I can’t get there.”
- Brainstorm other options for them like getting a bike, taking transit or asking a friend for a ride.
- They can ask their therapist or counsellor if they have virtual or phone options.
“It’s embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to find out.”
- Mental health professionals have confidentiality commitments they must uphold. Do some research or contact a provider to ask them.
- If they’re speaking with a counsellor, they can specify how they’d like to be contacted to maintain privacy.
- Consider calling or texting an anonymous helpline.
“I can’t do online therapy. I don’t have any privacy at home.”
- Consider going for a walk and do therapy over the phone instead of through the internet.
- Explore options to book a private space at school, a friend’s house or even a local community center.
Let’s take a short break and rest our brains for a sec with this fun quiz. It’s mostly just for fun, but the questions might also help you reflect on strengths you already have as well as areas you can work on when it comes to listening. Sound good? (Get it? Sound good? 😉)
Check-in Champ
As the champion of checking-in you pride yourself on making people feel seen. You’re great at noticing when someone isn’t doing well, but keep in mind that champions are made through practice and hard work. To continue honing your listening skills, remember to ask open-ended questions, validate how they’re feeling and don’t interrupt.
Bobble head
During tough conversations you’re great at validating how someone is feeling and not interrupting. Like a bobblehead, you often nod to show that you’re listening. But if your neck needs a break, try offering a hug or a shoulder to cry on. Remember to ask open-ended questions to help them open up and make eye contact to show that you’re paying attention.
Hugger
Bear hugs are your speciality. When a friend needs a hug, they turn to you. To become an even better listener, remember to validate how they’re feeling, ask open-ended questions and make eye contact to show you’re listening. These actions can give people that warm, fuzzy feeling the same way hugs do!
Eye Contact Master
You’re so good at making eye contact, you’ve probably never lost a staring contest! But don’t limit yourself to just one skill, it’s time to diversify. Try asking open-ended questions and nodding to show that you’re listening. Body posture is important too; uncross your arms and relax.
Abrar: Hi, my name is Abrar
Mohamed: And my name is Mohamed. And we're siblings. She's my oldest sister.
Abrar: And he’s the youngest at the house. We were born in Canada, but we grew up in Syria, Aleppo, and two, during the war, we stayed there till 2017. My family came back in 2015, I came back 2017 After I finished my graduation and my degree, and it was working with a lot of NGOs, coming back was not easy, because I came with no language.
Mohamed: When I came a year before abroad, I had a whole year to like, kind of like, learn about the new dynamic. And here, the culture and the way people like work, you know, like, their vibes
Abrar: We had like a lot of relatives, like, kind of parents. Neighbors, like my neighbor, I remember, like, when I used to be back home, like, if I'm coming late, she would cook like, you know, cook dinner and give it to me like it was like that, and the nature of the community, right? I had a lot of friends, they would just like be there for me, right? If I needed financial support, if I needed a shoulder to cry on, on, they were there, but losing that sense of community and coming to Canada. And having no one like the first two years for me.
Mohamed: And kind of learned Yeah, that we need to start supporting each others. Yeah,
Abrar: Yeah. When you come here and you have like no one to rely on and support me. It's to me that caring, trust and being there when you really need that person to be there.
Mohamed: Supporting someone without expecting like something bad is like really important, you know? Because you're like, it's supposed to be genuinely, you know, she was kind of like, a second mom. like a second mother. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, so Motherly
Abrar: And sometimes like, he'll always give me nice, cute gifts. And it really makes a difference. Like, yeah, like if it's especially if it's coming at sudden. It's really cute. It's super nice. Yes. So action matters, like action and caring is the translation of what being there means to me personally, I always consider myself really blessed. And lucky to have my siblings and Mohamed especially. He's around, and he cares. Like for all of us. Yeah.2
According to Be There, how should you create a safe environment for someone struggling with their mental health?
A classmate is feeling so anxious about an upcoming exam that they’re nauseous and have barely eaten all week. This change is…
Ali joined the science club
Fill in the blanks:
Optional Videos
Both: We met….[laughter]
Shawn: I first met Shaiya five years ago. She was doing her PHD and I was joining the lab as a new student.
Shaiya: I was very focussed and Shawn was the complete opposite of that. [laughter]
Shawn: I was all over the place.
Shaiya: Shawn started in the lab with a Masters in Public Health from Barbados. I thought, in my opinion, he was a little bit overconfident about the demands required of a PhD. He didn’t have many of the soft skills that a lot of PhD students have. And that kinda showed in your work.
Shawn: I was not serious, I was a social butterfly. I just- it was a whole new world and I wasn’t really as focussed as I should have been.
Shaiya: For me, I was there for Shawn in the sense that I had some very honest discussions with him.
Shawn: Very, very, honest. [laughter]
Shaiya: And I still have honest discussions with you. So providing lots of critical feedback on his writing, on his presentation style, even on knowing your worth in the lab.
Shawn: She would honestly pull me aside and be so blunt and so honest and that is what I needed to hear.
Shaiya: Depending on the person, how you approach that will be different, so I guess the challenge is communicating that in a way that is palatable for Shawn. You still doubt yourself in a lot of ways and I’m there for him by reminding him of, you know, just how far he’s come. You think I was smart when I started in the lab, you, like, exceed me.
Shawn: Shaiya’s mentorship style really stuck with me. Yeah, thank you.
Shaiya: You’re welcome boo. You’re making me blush.
Shawn: Now I’m at that point where I get to give back and mentor new grad students.
Shaiya: I make time for people who are important to me and you are important to me, so I’ve always made time for Shawn. Tough love in a loving way.
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