Activity: Checking-In
Remember Ali and Sarah? Help Sarah use Golden Rule #1 Say What You See to check in with Ali.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. So much homework 😫
What’s with you lately? Are you avoiding me?
This might make Ali defensive.
You stuck to the facts and opened up the conversation.
Story: Abrar and Mohammed
Check out this video from friends Abrar and Mohammed to learn Show You Care in action.
Abrar: Hi, my name is Abrar
Mohamed: And my name is Mohamed. And we're siblings. She's my oldest sister.
Abrar: And he’s the youngest at the house. We were born in Canada, but we grew up in Syria, Aleppo, and two, during the war, we stayed there till 2017. My family came back in 2015, I came back 2017 After I finished my graduation and my degree, and it was working with a lot of NGOs, coming back was not easy, because I came with no language.
Mohamed: When I came a year before abroad, I had a whole year to like, kind of like, learn about the new dynamic. And here, the culture and the way people like work, you know, like, their vibes
Abrar: We had like a lot of relatives, like, kind of parents. Neighbors, like my neighbor, I remember, like, when I used to be back home, like, if I'm coming late, she would cook like, you know, cook dinner and give it to me like it was like that, and the nature of the community, right? I had a lot of friends, they would just like be there for me, right? If I needed financial support, if I needed a shoulder to cry on, on, they were there, but losing that sense of community and coming to Canada. And having no one like the first two years for me.
Mohamed: And kind of learned Yeah, that we need to start supporting each others. Yeah,
Abrar: Yeah. When you come here and you have like no one to rely on and support me. It's to me that caring, trust and being there when you really need that person to be there.
Mohamed: Supporting someone without expecting like something bad is like really important, you know? Because you're like, it's supposed to be genuinely, you know, she was kind of like, a second mom. like a second mother. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, so Motherly
Abrar: And sometimes like, he'll always give me nice, cute gifts. And it really makes a difference. Like, yeah, like if it's especially if it's coming at sudden. It's really cute. It's super nice. Yes. So action matters, like action and caring is the translation of what being there means to me personally, I always consider myself really blessed. And lucky to have my siblings and Mohamed especially. He's around, and he cares. Like for all of us. Yeah.2
According to Be There, how should you create a safe environment for someone struggling with their mental health?
A classmate is feeling so anxious about an upcoming exam that they’re nauseous and have barely eaten all week. This change is…
Ali joined the science club
Fill in the blanks:
Optional Videos
Both: We met….[laughter]
Shawn: I first met Shaiya five years ago. She was doing her PHD and I was joining the lab as a new student.
Shaiya: I was very focussed and Shawn was the complete opposite of that. [laughter]
Shawn: I was all over the place.
Shaiya: Shawn started in the lab with a Masters in Public Health from Barbados. I thought, in my opinion, he was a little bit overconfident about the demands required of a PhD. He didn’t have many of the soft skills that a lot of PhD students have. And that kinda showed in your work.
Shawn: I was not serious, I was a social butterfly. I just- it was a whole new world and I wasn’t really as focussed as I should have been.
Shaiya: For me, I was there for Shawn in the sense that I had some very honest discussions with him.
Shawn: Very, very, honest. [laughter]
Shaiya: And I still have honest discussions with you. So providing lots of critical feedback on his writing, on his presentation style, even on knowing your worth in the lab.
Shawn: She would honestly pull me aside and be so blunt and so honest and that is what I needed to hear.
Shaiya: Depending on the person, how you approach that will be different, so I guess the challenge is communicating that in a way that is palatable for Shawn. You still doubt yourself in a lot of ways and I’m there for him by reminding him of, you know, just how far he’s come. You think I was smart when I started in the lab, you, like, exceed me.
Shawn: Shaiya’s mentorship style really stuck with me. Yeah, thank you.
Shaiya: You’re welcome boo. You’re making me blush.
Shawn: Now I’m at that point where I get to give back and mentor new grad students.
Shaiya: I make time for people who are important to me and you are important to me, so I’ve always made time for Shawn. Tough love in a loving way.
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